Self-Analysis: Scary but Good for You

[disclosure]

 

Happy Friday! Happy November!

I hope everyone survived Halloween and are quietly plowing into their candy stashes. LOL

Here it stormed for most of the day on Halloween. I decided not to buy my typical bounty of candy this year because:

• last year, no one came, and we still have candy from last year –no one is eating it! and
• the weather was questionable – who would be out and about?

Surprise! The kids started knocking before it got dark! It had stopped raining…

I panicked!

Each kid only got one piece of candy. I couldn’t allow myself to run out! I anxiously monitored my rapidly dwindling bowl of candy trying to estimate the number of pieces I would need.

Then, unfortunately, my previous expectation came true. The stream of children dropped to a trickle and then stopped. Then it started thundering and raining. I still had candy!

Which means my husband and I are obligated to eat it along with the stash my daughter obtained during her trick-or-treat run. We are obligated…

And I have analyzed the role my candy goals play in my life.  Which leads to the topic of today’s post.

Self-Analysis: Self-Criticism or Self-Improvement?

Some might argue that self-analysis is just a path to self-criticism. Because our society is fixated on a quest for improvement, it can often seem like the true purpose of any self-analysis work is merely to uncover all that’s wrong with you and your decisions.

There is another way to think about this work. When trying to know and understand yourself better, you can choose one of two paths of thought. “What scary things will I find deep down,” or “What parts of myself are longing to be set free?”

What Is Self-Analysis?

Self-analysis is not only about understanding your true gifts but also examining why these haven’t been revealed more in your life. The answer is because we also store our pain and emotional wounds alongside these gifts and talents. The reasons you haven’t expressed a specific talent up until now is because–somewhere along the way–negative emotions became attached to that expression. Now, it’s frightening even to consider letting it loose.

Then self-analysis becomes the challenge of revealing these personal gifts, allowing them to be expressed, and releasing the negative emotions and energy that have been holding them back for so long. But, facing these feelings and forging ahead can reveal the path to a happier future. And while aspects of your true self and inner gifts may frighten you, moving past your fear can show their real contributions to your life.

The Intensity of Your Emotions

It can be frightening to reveal the intensity of how you really feel. When you dig deep inside, you’re likely to find strong passion, great anger, intense jealousy, and fierce power. This intensity can be hard to handle, and it may be difficult for others to handle, too. Self-analysis can reveal the power and intensity you have inside.  However, if you’ve worked your entire life to suppress or temper that intensity, it can be scary to let it all go.

Your True Vulnerability 

Over time, most of us have developed a shell that protects us from the pain of life. Some shells are thicker and tougher out of necessity. At your core, you are vulnerable and sensitive to your own pain as well as to the pain of others. Without the shell, you might think you are too vulnerable and that others might see that vulnerability as well. You believe the shell is necessary and even acknowledging it can be a challenge.

The Uniqueness of Your Spirit

While we are alike in many ways, there is no one on the planet quite like you. While originality can be a valued trait, being too different is often a reason for scorn or ridicule. Self-analysis has the power to reveal your unique spirit, but what if you’re too original? Feeling isolated from others can be a problem when working on understanding our true selves, since we want to be ourselves but not too different from everyone else.

Moving Past the Fear

The work of self-analysis is one of options. But the decision is not limited to, “should I,” or “shouldn’t I?” Instead, it is one of finding ways to express your inner gifts and true self in stages that allow you to feel comfortable and safe. Providing yourself with the opportunities and understanding to honor your gifts and inner self will reveal the scary but satisfying path to knowing yourself more fully.

Self-analysis is not just about self-awareness but also self-improvement and development. Instead of focusing on new skills and talents, though, the first step should include allowing who you are to shine and flourish.

What are your gifts, and how are you currently holding them back?

How can you be more of the authentic, vulnerable, unique person you are meant to be? While it is scary to reveal the dark emotions that may be hiding these aspects of yourself, the results are worth the effort.

This isn’t a quick process but as you determine your goals for the next year, you can work in some self-analysis. It helps with the goal-setting.  More on this in the future.

 

Enjoy your candy!

Loving Life—The Reboot!

Dominique