Who are the Most Important People in Your Life?
[disclosure]
Happy Friday!
Tomorrow is our 17th wedding anniversary! We got married in Atlanta — don’t we look young and fresh before children? LOL– Just kidding, children!
Thomas and I are doing some low-key celebrating Saturday afternoon and evening. I have been pretty busy so I haven’t spent a lot of time planning anything so my husband came up with some cool things in Houston to visit. We haven’t seen a lot of Houston so it should be fun.
Thinking about our 17 years together made me think about relationships — this is definitely the longest one I have ever been in other than with family.
There are so many things that go into making a relationship work. And it does require some work.
In this post, we look at one aspect of making your relationships work — establishing the importance the people in your life. Sometimes we get this a little twisted — especially when we are putting in work to establish our businesses.
The Most Important People May Not Be Who You Think
You might think that the most important people in your life are the folks you spend the most time with — your family, your co-workers, colleagues, and various friendships. While it’s true that those closest to you in proximity are important, even vital, they may not be the most important people in your life.
Depending on who is demanding the most attention, you may be pouring way too much energy into people because of urgency rather than importance.
Let’s take a look at what that means:
There is a philosophy that states that twenty percent of people take up eighty percent of your time. The squeaky wheel does seem to get the grease. This may mean that you’re giving your time and attention to people who demand it, rather than to people who truly matter in the bigger scheme of things.
Some people are energy vampires who consistently suck the life out of you. They need constant attention and become disgruntled or angry when they don’t have your focus. In some work situations, a customer or a boss may have very high expectations that require your time and energy resulting in less time for your family or your passions. In each case, these people are taking a disproportionate amount of your time and ultimately, they aren’t the most important people in your life.
Fact: A key to nurturing important relationships is assessing who is important to you, which allows you to spend intentional time building and maintaining the closeness you want.
Determining Your Main Relationships
Here are three tips for establishing those relationships and making the most of those bonds:
Family First
The family is the bedrock of our lives. Building and maintaining positive and nurturing relationships is always a priority. Sometimes our other commitments drain us of our energy and time, and family doesn’t get the attention they deserve. Even families who feel disconnected can usually trace the root of the issue back to neglecting these bonds. Make your family a priority. Measure the expectations of others against whether or not they will detract from essential family time.
Avoid Drama
Dysfunction doesn’t always look crazy. Sometimes well-meaning people can be totally unaware of their impact. Guard yourself against personalities that drain you and bring the drama. Make space for the friendships and relationships that are the healthiest and reciprocating. Disengage with people who demand too much attention in all the wrong ways. Remember to set clear boundaries when you are unable to eliminate someone who loves drama.
Reciprocation is Vital
Reciprocation is VitalThe people who matter most will likely be trying to connect with you as much as you are with them. Friendships and close relationships should feel like a two-way street. If you feel you are chasing someone to get their attention, they’re probably not a primary relationship. In the same way, if someone’s trying hard to be in a relationship with you and you simply don’t want to work on the connection, it’s likely not a priority.
Being clear on who matters most is the first step. Making the most important people a priority and pouring your energy into the relationship is the second. Be intentional with the people who matter most. These bonds can last a lifetime.
It’s so easy to get so wrapped up in getting your business going that you miss important moments with your family and real friends. I have to work on that as well. So the anniversary and this post are hitting home for me as well. It’s all about living intentionally, right!
Here’s to the next 17!
Have a lovely weekend!
Loving Life–The Reboot!
Dominique
36 Comments
Alexandra
Very true 🙂 Family comes first. Happy 17th Wedding Anniversary to you! Love your wedding photos.
Dominique
Thank you! L don’t know why I love that pic so much but I always have. Have a great weekend!
Michelle
Happy anniversary to the both of you Dominique, wishing you many more happy years together. And you’re right we often forget, with all the things happening around us who the important, special people are in our lives. The ones who will be there long after all the work pressures have disappeared, if we look after them and take the time to show them that they mean the world to us.
Dominique
Thank you so much! I have to make time to call my close friends because I get sidetracked. I must do better myself. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend!
Kat
Ha never thought about the 80-20 rule in this context but it makes sense!
Dominique
Truth! It applies to most things — kids, coworkers, everything! LOL Have a great weekend!
Stacie
This is so important for everyone to read and then reread. I am so guilty of giving my time to people who pretty much bully it out of me rather than the people who really need and deserve it.
Dominique
It is so easy to let that happen. I will be re-reading it myself! Have a lovely weekend!
Amanda
I just got married a month ago so I really enjoyed this post! Thanks for the advice 🙂
Dominique
Congratulations on your marriage! The wedding is always fun and beautiful but the marriage is where the most important parts are! Enjoy!
Rachel
Great post for people to read, in fact, everyone should read it and think about the importance of people in their life. Beautifully written and lovely photos.
Dominique
Thanks for the kind words. Have a lovely weekend!
Fatima
I hear you on the whole avoiding drama thing. Just wish more family members understood this as well. Wishing you and the hubs a wonderful anniversary!
Dominique
When you are young, drama seems cool! I am glad to have grown out of that! Thank you for the good wishes!
kumamonjeng
I agree that reciprocation is vital and all relationship should be two way, be it friendship or others. We should not keep receiving from the others but at the same time we also need to give. It is a fun process I strongly think.
Dominique
Very true! Have a wonderful weekend!
eli
Just thought about this the other day. Wrote down all of the good people in my life and it was so helpful in coping through a difficult time!
Dominique
I am glad it helped. Good luck getting through1 Have a wonderful weekend!
Christie Moeller
Such a great post. I think we all need to be reminded to phase out the energy vampires. we all have one or two lol.
Dominique
I love that phrase — energy vampires! LOL They are everywhere! Have a wonderful weekend!
Yeah Lifestyle
Happy anniversary to the two of you – I really hope you have had a wonderful day! Family are definitely the bedrock of my life!
Dominique
Thank you so much. We are getting really to go out! Have a great day!
evelyn hernandez
I agree with you, family always come first. I have also recently lost a few friends because of their drama. Best decision ever!
Dominique
Once they are gone, you realize how much of a drain they were! Have a great rest of the weekend!
Vanessa Delia
There are many people who are near and dear to my heart. I have had so many great influences in my life.
Dominique
Me too. We can only hope to be a great influence on someone else. Have a great day!
Preet
Oh wow, what a great post. I love how you share about the most important person in your lives. Happy Anniversary to both of you.
Dominique
Thank you — it was a lovely day! Enjoy your weekend!
Sam
Congrats on your 17th anniversary! This is a really good way to determine who are the most important. People who drain your energy is something we tend to overlook, but we really should focus on who drains us. Reciprocation is also super important in any relationship.
Dominique
Thank you! It’s almost impossible to see how much of a drain these people are until they are removed from our lives. I hope you enjoy your weekend!
sakshi
You have written this very. Family is always first. I was discussing the same today morning with my husband. Lovely article here ! 🙂
Dominique
Thank you for that. I am glad you enjoyed it. I hope you and your husband have a lovely weekend!
Catherine Santiago Jose
First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your 17th wedding anniversary and I really enjoyed reading this article and I agree that family is the most important people in our lives and should always put first in our hearts.
Dominique
Thank you so much and I am glad you enjoyed reading my post! Have a wonderful day!
Daphne' Adams
Anniversary! I do think that everything you said here is extremely important we have to know who are those people in our life that are expecting us to be there for them but also knows that we can go to as well.
Dominique
Thank you so much and thanks for reading!