Tomorrow is our 17th wedding anniversary! We got married in Atlanta — don’t we look young and fresh before children? LOL– Just kidding, children!
Thomas and I are doing some low-key celebrating Saturday afternoon and evening. I have been pretty busy so I haven’t spent a lot of time planning anything so my husband came up with some cool things in Houston to visit. We haven’t seen a lot of Houston so it should be fun.
Thinking about our 17 years together made me think about relationships — this is definitely the longest one I have ever been in other than with family.
There are so many things that go into making a relationship work. And it does require some work.
In this post, we look at one aspect of making your relationships work — establishing the importance the people in your life. Sometimes we get this a little twisted — especially when we are putting in work to establish our businesses.
The Most Important People May Not Be Who You Think
You might think that the most important people in your life are the folks you spend the most time with — your family, your co-workers, colleagues, and various friendships. While it’s true that those closest to you in proximity are important, even vital, they may not be the most important people in your life.
Depending on who is demanding the most attention, you may be pouring way too much energy into people because of urgency rather than importance.
Let’s take a look at what that means:
There is a philosophy that states that twenty percent of people take up eighty percent of your time. The squeaky wheel does seem to get the grease. This may mean that you’re giving your time and attention to people who demand it, rather than to people who truly matter in the bigger scheme of things.
Some people are energy vampires who consistently suck the life out of you. They need constant attention and become disgruntled or angry when they don’t have your focus. In some work situations, a customer or a boss may have very high expectations that require your time and energy resulting in less time for your family or your passions. In each case, these people are taking a disproportionate amount of your time and ultimately, they aren’t the most important people in your life.
Fact: A key to nurturing important relationships is assessing who is important to you, which allows you to spend intentional time building and maintaining the closeness you want.
Determining Your Main Relationships
Here are three tips for establishing those relationships and making the most of those bonds:
The family is the bedrock of our lives. Building and maintaining positive and nurturing relationships is always a priority. Sometimes our other commitments drain us of our energy and time, and family doesn’t get the attention they deserve. Even families who feel disconnected can usually trace the root of the issue back to neglecting these bonds. Make your family a priority. Measure the expectations of others against whether or not they will detract from essential family time.
Dysfunction doesn’t always look crazy. Sometimes well-meaning people can be totally unaware of their impact. Guard yourself against personalities that drain you and bring the drama. Make space for the friendships and relationships that are the healthiest and reciprocating. Disengage with people who demand too much attention in all the wrong ways. Remember to set clear boundaries when you are unable to eliminate someone who loves drama.
Reciprocation is Vital
The people who matter most will likely be trying to connect with you as much as you are with them. Friendships and close relationships should feel like a two-way street. If you feel you are chasing someone to get their attention, they’re probably not a primary relationship. In the same way, if someone’s trying hard to be in a relationship with you and you simply don’t want to work on the connection, it’s likely not a priority.
Being clear on who matters most is the first step. Making the most important people a priority and pouring your energy into the relationship is the second. Be intentional with the people who matter most. These bonds can last a lifetime.
It’s so easy to get so wrapped up in getting your business going that you miss important moments with your family and real friends. I have to work on that as well. So the anniversary and this post are hitting home for me as well. It’s all about living intentionally, right!
Here’s to the next 17!
Have a lovely weekend!
Loving Life–The Reboot!