Is Self-Care Eluding You?

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Today is a big day!

Last year, on this day, I published my first post!

It’s been a busy year! I celebrated the first anniversary of my kidney transplant so I had a lot of doctors’ appointments and blood work. My mother passed away and my father has moved in with us (he’s having surgery today so please send up a prayer!). My husband has also started a work project that means he is out of town most of the time! Then 2 teenagers — one with special needs — I am happy to still be standing!

All of this along with a new blog! It has been a new experience, and I am still learning of course. Hopefully, during year two, the process will become smoother and I can spend more time on courses and my book(s)!

As busy as it can get, I’m supposed to take time to rest. Time for self-care. Often, it doesn’t happen even when I know better. I suspect it happens to us all. Why?

Why Is It So Hard to Improve Your Self-Care?

Do you take good care of yourself? Of course, you do, or at least you think so. However, you may not realize that the level of care you give yourself is less than optimal, in many cases close to neglect. Yes, circumstances out of your control may force you to spend less time on yourself than you wish, and there are usually dozens of reason why.

However, before you can make a conscious effort to improve your self-care, you need to realize why you do such a poor job in the first place. Self-care may be eluding you if you find yourself doing any of the following things.

You Are Too Selfless

Do you put the needs of every single person ahead of your own? If so, you are exhibiting a classic sign of self-neglect. By prioritizing the needs of everybody except your own, you find yourself getting burnt out or becoming resentful.

Though nobody likes selfish folks, let’s be realistic — you have to put yourself first sometimes. You won’t be able to do anything for anyone if you don’t, not to mention resenting all the people you give up things for. A totally unhealthy situation.

You Feel Guilty for Getting Dressed Up

If you feel guilty for fancying up yourself, again, self-care may be eluding you. You have the right to spend time on yourself. That could mean indulging in a bubble bath for an hour, or moisturizing and doing weekly pedicures. This is a necessary part of your overall care.

Another typical symptom of this is the chronic habit of dressing in “wash and wear” gear which is a very casual look and may not require any ironing. While there is nothing wrong with that, you should still take time to dress yourself. Take some time every weekend to arrange your outfits for the coming week. This includes picking out accessories, shoes, and ironing your clothes if needed. You are special — it’s OK to dress with a little flair sometimes.

No Friends? That’s You

Not having a small circle of closely-knit friends is another obvious symptom of poor self-care. Good friends are there not only through good times but also the bad. Friends can be an invaluable part of your well-being. Whether this is your choice (or excuse) or something forced upon you by family, it isn’t healthy and ultimately affects your wellbeing.

You Feel Unfulfilled

You may be grown, have a home and money in the bank, but you still have the sinking feeling that you haven’t achieved enough in life. This could be the result of a lack of personal fulfillment because perhaps you never got the chance to complete your college education, to pursue your passion, or maybe you simply don’t find your career rewarding.

Well, there is no better time than now to get up and go after whatever it is that would fulfill you. What needs to be kept in mind is the fact that no other person can achieve this for you, so go get it.

No Exercise

This is one of the more serious symptoms of poor self-care, as it directly affects your well-being on an emotional and physical level. Lack of exercise boosts the likelihood of negative health effects, reduces quality of life, and harms your appearance.

Exercising 3 times weekly can help you maintain a healthy weight and body composition and is one of the best things you can do for yourself. to inprove your self-care

You Don’t See That Much Joy in Life

The final symptom of a lack of self-care is a lack of joy. Living is all work with no fun; you’re just going through the motions of life, without truly finding joy in the day-to-day moments.

You don’t stop to take in the views on your way to work, you don’t experience joy from little things your kids or grandkids may do, and the only joy is going to bed. Feeling as if life has no joy can be not only sad, but kick starts a cycle of negativity and can spiral into depression.

In Conclusion

Though self-care should be second nature, many of us have stopped participating in these important behaviors. You need to be selfish sometimes and to think about yourself, so you can meet your needs and desires — as well as those of the family that you care for. Making the effort to improve your self-care can only serve to make you happier and more content.

I am offering a free report “5 Simple Ways to Be Happier” — click on the link and get the PDF. An additional book is available in my store: Happiness Begins With You       Check out this  Journal on Amazon: Belief in Yourself and Magic Will Happen

Loving Life–The Reboot!

Dominique

My Amazon Author Page

Shop at Life: The Reboot

Comments

  1. Natalia

    After reading this article I came to a conclusion that I really don’t take good care of myself! Although, some of the points mentioned in the text have been slowly improving for me. 🙂

  2. Joan

    I don’t have friends and I can’t remember the last time I exercised, I used to be better but now it’s like I have totally forgotten. Thank you for the reminder.

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  3. Chelle Dizon

    I do agree that it’s really important to have a strong circle of friends that will be there for you through your best times and worst. These are really helpful suggestions!

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  4. Brie

    Self car is incredibly important, some of the things you mentioned are definitely stuff that I have felt before when I was neglecting myself. Thank you for sharing this!

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  5. Natalie

    Congrats on your one-year blogiversary! I could definitely bring more exercise into my life. With spring and warmer weather, I am determined to be more active.

  6. Alexandra Cook

    I try to make it a point in my daily routine to care for myself. I like to end the day a bit earlier now.

  7. Swathi

    Thanks for sharing all these tips, I admire you, I lost my dad last year my mom passed away on 2004. So nobody there except my sister. I have two kids too . Life is always busy. Not get time to take care of ourself. But we need to do it. Prayers of your dad’s surgery.

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